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The esteemed late Christian contemplative and monk, Thomas Merton, wrote in his Journal, "The reality of my life is the reality of interior prayer above all and always." Those words inspired the following reflections on interiority and relationships, in consort with my intensified interest lately in the potentials of the interior life for exploring and enjoying unconventional intimacy-unconventional meaning beyond the norm. I have written this, being aware acutely that the words fail to say what the heart feels and knows, so much so that I questioned whether or not to publish it. I accept this shortcoming, for to speak of this unseen Grace and the mysteries of spirit-with-spirit communion is to speak, to an extent, away from the fact of It. Yet, I write, and in so doing, do what is most important, that is to give myself and the words as gift, for in such intimacy what one is and gives are a unity, the creation being an expression within and from the creator. That is the way of interiority, of Grace, for interior communion is finally a self-offering above all else, a fortunate loss of self in the other in which one is found anew and renewed in Love, eternally.
Also, of import is that some of what I write here is likely only for two persons who seek this exploration of interiority together. One will find it futile to try this exploration with someone who is not prepared for this; also, in some sense, we might be correct to say that two must be divinely called to this together.
As to using the term "soulmate," I have intentionally avoided that. To my view, the idea "soulmate" has been reduced to trite, as has much popular use of the word "love," even as all things wise and deep tend to become in common usage nothing more than mediocrity exploited by persons who have no idea of what they speak. Most persons would not want a true soulmate, for such a relationship would completely undo their ideas and wishes of love, when Love Itself has no interest in prioritizing what anyone wants apart from giving himself or herself to be the loving servant of the other, of all. When Jesus spoke, "I came to serve...," this is the ideal and movement of all true loving; even to be a lover with a lover, even in the act of physical loving, or sex, the joy is to serve, to give oneself for the other, so find oneself with and in the other in one, single act of shared giving-receiving. In this, the timeless enters time, and Love - yes, God - is reborn, again and again....
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This is one way of living the Sacred, with Life, the way of interior prayer. This is not saying prayers, chanting, or doing prayer alone or with others. This, at its most subtle, clothes itself with nothing. So, dropping the word "prayer" might be wise in this regard, choosing an alternative, such as, interiority, or intimacy, or inner communion, or Silence, or another means to avoid the impression that this is equated with praying as commonly understood. Yet, partly for its historical usage and, likewise, that I do not want to avoid the richness of the word prayer as an interior experience, it being not prayer-less at all, I still sometimes use the word prayer for this interiority of Presence. I do not wish to leave the word prayer alone to those who think it is mainly a matter of the mouth and religion, rather than most purely the blessed muteness of the universal and universalizing Heart-of-all-hearts.
